Red Lentil Cauliflower Masala

This recipe is a hearty indian dish that is simple to make, saves very well, and packs a ton of vegan protein from the lentils and nutrients from the veggies. You can mix and match what kind of veggies to include depending on what you have on or what you like best. We were running out of food so I made this recipe was born out of necessity, using the lentils and tomato paste in the cupboard, the lonely cauliflower in the fridge, and the frozen spinach brought it all together. Always have frozen spinach on hand. :) 

Inspired by the Red Lentil & Spinach Masala recipe here.


Ingredients:
1 tbsp. coconut oil
1 red onion, diced
3 garlic cloves, minced
1 inch piece of ginger, peeled & minced
2 tsp. sea salt
1 tsp. cumin
1 tsp. garam masala
1 tsp. turmeric
1/2 tsp. coriander
1/2 tsp. paprika or red pepper

1 head organic cauliflower, chopped.
1 8 oz. can organic tomato paste
~32 oz. organic vegetable broth, less if you want a thicker consistency
1 15 oz. can full-fat coconut milk
2 cups red lentils (uncooked)
1 medium package frozen spinach
cilantro for garnish

Instructions:

• In a large pot heat the oil on medium heat and add the chopped red onion.
• Saute for about 5 minutes until soft and translucent.
• Stir in the spices and cook about 2 minutes until very fragrant.
• Add the chopped cauliflower, tomato paste and vegetable broth and cook to boiling over medium high heat, about 10 minutes until the cauliflower is about "al dente", getting softer but not all the way cooked yet.
• Stir in the coconut milk and red lentils.
• Once boiling again reduce the heat to medium low and cook until the lentils and cauliflower are soft, about 23-25 minutes.
• Stir in the spinach, adjust seasonings to taste, and garnish with cilantro.

Enjoy!
This recipe makes really good leftovers! We enjoyed them later in the week with green beans sautéed in a bit of coconut oil & Trader Joe's Every Day Seasoning. 

Buckwheat Chocolate Chip Cookies ~ Gluten Free, Vegan

These cookies are beautifully soft and the BEST cookies I have ever made, even better than the unhealthy refrigerated cookie dough things we used to get as kids!

And the fact that these are healthy AND fairly cheap to makes these a necessity to bake right now. Right. Now.

Recipe adapted from the Buckwheat Chocolate Chip Cookies here. 
Yields about 2 trays worth of cookies

Ingredients
Dry: 
1 1/4 cups buckwheat flour, or quinoa flour
1 1/4 cups garbanzo bean flour, or gluten-free all purpose flour
1 tsp. sea salt
1 tsp. baking soda
1 1/2 cups dark chocolate chips (or Enjoy Life brand)

Wet: 
2 1/2 tbs. chia seeds + 1/3 cup filtered water
3/4 cup coconut oil, melted
1/4 cup applesauce, or additional coconut oil
1 cup + 2 tbs. coconut sugar
1 tsp. vanilla extract

1. In a small bowl or cup, mix together the chia seeds and 1/3 cup water. Set aside for about 5 minutes and stir every so often until the mixture takes on a gel-like consistency. 

2. In a medium bowl stir together the melted coconut oil, applesauce, coconut sugar and vanilla extract. Once the chia seeds and water form a thick gel, add them to the other wet ingredients and blend on high (with a hand mixer) for several minutes. 

3. Mix together the dry ingredients. Stir the dry ingredients into the wet ingredients and mix until just combined. 

4. Chill the dough in the fridge for 2 hours or overnight, until all the dough is chilled and firm.

5. When ready to bake, preheat the oven to 350 degrees and form into the size cookies you'd like. Bake for 9-13 minutes. Enjoy! 

Cauliflower Alfredo Pasta with Veggies

Gluten-Free, Nut-Free, Vegetarian, can be vegan

This recipe is adapted from the recipes over at "It Doesn't Taste Like Chicken" for Quick Easy Cauliflower Cream Sauce here, and over at "Leelalicious" for Healthier Cauliflower Alfredo sauce here. 

Ingredients: 

Cauliflower Sauce: 
1 medium head of cauliflower, chopped
1 large yellow onion, chopped
1 tbs. [grass-fed, pure] butter or coconut oil for vegan version
3 cloves minced garlic
3 cups vegetable or chicken broth

1 cup unsweetened non-dairy milk (or more broth)
1/2 cup nutritional yeast
2 tsp. salt (or to taste)
1 tsp. black pepper

Gluten-Free Pasta (I used Quinoa pasta)
2 cups frozen broccoli, thawed
1 package chopped mushrooms
1 cup frozen peas, thawed
(any veggies you'd like)

Instructions: 

1. Saute the chopped onion in butter (or coconut oil) and 2 cloves of garlic in a large pot until caramelized, about 10 minutes.
2. Add the chopped cauliflower, broth, non-dairy milk, and additional garlic. Boil for about 10 minutes, until the cauliflower is fork tender. 
3. While the cauliflower is cooking, prepare the pasta according to package directions. 
4. Blend the cauliflower and broth mixture with an immersion blender (or in a blender) until smooth, and blend in the nutritional yeast and salt/pepper to taste. 
5. Add the pasta and prepared/chopped veggies to the sauce once it's blended and ready. Enjoy!

Gluten-Free Pumpkin Muffins (with Quinoa Flour)

Gluten-Free, Dairy-Free, Sugar-Free, Nut-Free, Paleo, Vegan

Adapted from the recipe for Gluten-Free Pumpkin Muffins made with Quinoa Flour over at KeepItSweetDesserts.com. (The author writes that she slightly adapted from Espresso and Cream who had adapted from With Style & Grace.) the recipe looks great, and I adapted it with the ingredients I had on hand. I substituted chia seeds for the eggs, and added a bit of coconut oil to give it some healthy fats. The resulting muffins are moist, fluffy and light, all without eggs or gluten!

Ingredients: 
Dry
1 1/2 cups quinoa flour
2 tsp. cinnamon
1 tsp. baking soda
3/4 tsp. cream of tartar
1/4 tsp. nutmeg
1/4 tsp. sea salt
1/8 tsp. ground ginger

Wet
1 cup canned pumpkin 
3/4 cup unsweetened applesauce
1/4 cup coconut oil, melted
2 tbs. chia seeds + 1/3 cup water
1 cup erythritol (or sweetener of choice, more if you like sweeter muffins)
pinch of stevia
1 tsp. vanilla extract

Instructions: 
1. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Spray a muffin tray or mini muffin tray with coconut oil. 
2. Stir the chia seeds and water together in a small cup, and let sit for about 5 minutes until the chia seeds absorb most of the water. Mix the wet ingredients together in a medium bowl, and add the chia seeds in once they are gelled. 
3. Mix the dry ingredients together in a measuring cup. 
4. Add the dry ingredients into the wet and stir until just combined. 
5. Fill the muffin tins to the top.
6. Add chocolate chips or any toppings you would like (raspberries, blueberries, raisins, pumpkin seeds, etc.)
7. Bake at 350 for 10-12 minutes. Let cool and enjoy!

Store sealed in air-tight container at room temperature for a few days, or in the freezer. 
This recipe filled a mini muffin tray and half of a regular-sized muffin tray. 

Paleo Custard Tart

Gluten-free, Dairy-free, Refined Sugar-Free, Soy-free, Paleo 

Adapted from the awesome recipe for a Fourth of July Lemon Fruit Tart over at PaleOMG.com. This recipe is delicious, and almost tastes like a cheesecake - creamy, rich, sweet, filling, yet without any dairy or refined sugar! I modified the recipe to make the crust more crumbly, with less of an almond butter consistency. I made the original recipe with the juice of 4 limes instead of lemons. It turned out really well and my husband really liked it, but I wanted to tone down the citrus tanginess, and give it a more mellow comforting vanilla flavor. To do this, I used recipe below with less citrus and added vanilla. We liked it even more than the original!

This tart can be customized to whatever fruit and flavor combination you'd like. The following tart is Raspberry Vanilla, but you could also use blueberries, strawberries, kiwis, blackberries, etc. and use more lemon or lime juice in the custard. 

Ingredients: 

Crust

• 1 cup unsweetened shredded coconut
• ⅔ cup raw almonds
• ⅔ cup raw walnuts
• 2 tbsp. almond butter
• 1 tbsp. raw honey
• pinch of sea salt
• 
  

Custard Filling

5 eggs, whisked
⅓ cup honey 
⅓ cup coconut oil, melted
juice of 1 lime (or lemon)
1 1/2 tsp. vanilla extract
pinch of sea salt (optional)
frozen raspberries, or fruit of choice

Instructions

1. In a food processor mix together the almonds, walnuts and shredded coconut until it achieves a course flour consistency. 

2. Add the almond butter, honey and sea salt, and blend until it comes together more but still retains a somewhat crumbly consistency. Spread out the nut mixture to form a crust in a 8x8 inch pan, and store in the fridge or freezer. 

3. Put a saucepan over medium heat and add the honey, coconut oil, lime juice, vanilla and sea salt in a sauce pan. 

4. Once the mixture is melted and warmed add the eggs and whisk everything together. 

5. Continue whisking until the mixture thickens. (It will take about 5 minutes to thicken, and if you let it go to long little lumps will start forming from the egg whites cooking too long.)

6. Once the egg mixture (custard) has thickened, pour it into a glass dish (or the measuring cup you used), and let cool in the fridge for 20 minutes. 

7. Spread the custard over the crust and decorate with frozen or fresh fruit! 

Fresh fruit tastes amazing on this, but it's more expensive. Frozen fruit is cheaper so I used it for the second recipe, and it still tasted great. 

Deployment #1: Reflections from the Left-behind Wife

This post is very hard for me to write. It comes from a season of loneliness and struggle which we recently went through as a couple - my husband's first deployment for 7 months. Other military couples go through much longer deployments with less communication abilities afforded by technology, and they are clearly stronger than I am. Every spouse deals with the separations in different ways. Some pour their lives into their job, their kids, their friends, a new project or whatever, and each person handles it the way that works best for them in that season of their life. We didn't have any kids during this deployment, so I faced everything by myself in a new duty station.  

What many don't realize is that a lot of military marriages do not survive the rigors of deployments and military life. In 2009 it was reported that 13,000 marriages ended, and that doesn't even count engagements or relationships. I try to always put on a good face, but to be perfectly honest, we almost didn't make it through this because of my own struggles and growing frustrations through the deployment. I am grateful my husband stuck with me and supported me even when I was failing him. It takes 2 people to make a marriage work, and I am so grateful he persevered and patiently worked with me to restore our relationship.

That being said, I want to share what we learned, how we coped, and how we grew stronger through it, so that it can possibly benefit someone else. If there are any lonely spouses dealing with what seems like a never-ending separation, scouring pinterest to find some encouragement, I hope our story can help. 

~~~

For this deployment we had just moved to his first official duty station together, moved into military housing, went on pre-deployment leave, then the dreaded day came and I dropped him off at the ship. The war ship steadily sailed out of the harbor as he waved goodbye from the deck. I watched it fade in the distance, trying to hold back the tears and not get overwhelmed thinking about the months to come. Every spouse knows this is one of the worst feelings in the world. 

During the first few weeks I was pretty good and just tried to put on a strong front telling myself "I can do this, it's not that long even!", and tried to focus on the positives. As weekend after weekend passed, still living alone and working from home, the loneliness started to really take a toll. We were supposed to be in this duty station for just about a year, so I really lacked motivation to go out and meet new people in the area. Most of the spouses I had met had young kids and mainly did "mom things" with the other spouses, and since I didn’t have kids it was harder to relate with them. I am naturally a little guarded and have a hard time trusting people, and I just didn't put in the effort to meet more people. That was probably my first mistake of deployment. As loneliness and other issues started to become more challenging, I had to face them head on. 

In this post I’m going to address some of the challenges we faced, and how we coped.

Live Alone or Move Back Home?
One of the predicaments of deployment is whether to move home and save the BAH (Basic Allowance for Housing) money, or to keep living at the duty station and "hold down the fort" while the spouse is away. I was originally planning to stay and make a life for myself there, but the longer I lived alone the more I hated it. This duty station has cockroaches and poisonous centipedes that I always feared would get in, and you just start becoming paranoid when you live alone (a roach and wasp found their way in while I was home alone - I hate bugs!). I was used to living at home, then living with a roommate in college, then living with my husband, and I found this new loneliness to be very unsettling. 

My parents very graciously offered to pay for me to fly home for Christmas, so I went and stayed there still working from home, and ended up staying for a majority of the deployment. Some view that as reverting to depending on your parents again, but in all honesty it really helped me. I got to see old friends from high school for the first time in too long, I got to help out with the family and everything and basically not be an island anymore. Some spouses with young kids just hate parenting alone and want to take advantage of the time to let the kids be with their grandparents more. Every person makes their own choice in this regard, and since I was so miserable living alone it really helped me to go back home. 

Loneliness
Why do people get married? For the most part, it's for companionship. It's to have a life-partner always by your side to walk through life with, and to support you and encourage you along the way. 

During military separations (deployment, school, temporary assigned duty - there's a lot!) that partner is gone and you do everything alone. You go to bed alone, wake up alone, work alone, travel alone, fix flat tires alone. Your "life partner" is totally MIA! A sense of abandonment, resentment, and even betrayal can easily creep up. 
In moments of frustration, thoughts like the following can arise:

“Why did I marry them if they're really married to the Navy!!?"
“How can you stay in love with someone who is never there?”
“If I wasn’t waiting around for them I could actually do [insert life goal]…!!!”
“I’m sick of going to church or weddings or [insert event] by myself all the time. I’m sick of being a single married person!”

The biggest lesson I had to learn from this deployment is that feelings are NOT always true, and they CANNOT dictate the way you act or live your life. Feelings change based on the day, season, location, circumstances, anything. They are not authoritative, and if you let them dictate how you think and act, your life will be a roller coaster of uncertainty and instability. That roller coaster of impulsive decisions can hurt the people around you and is no way to live. Instead I had to focus on what I KNEW to be true - that God loves me, that my husband loves me, and that I needed to be faithful to my marriage. My husband had enough to worry about every day on the job, and I didn’t want him to worry about me too.

Temptation
People want to be wanted. When your spouse is gone they are not there to 'love' you the way you need, and you can subconsciously feel like an undesired, lonely frump. :[ 
Some wives proudly say "It's not hard to stay faithful in the military!", and personally I don't want to be that proud, lest I fall. Every person has the capacity to fall while blindly going on a teetering road into sin, only afterward realizing they've gone farther than they should have and are now chained to their damaging choices. 
As we all know, relationships start just by talking. You can think it's innocent enough, as you just want to "have fun" or have some attention from the opposite sex, but that's a dangerous road to walk. 
Guard your heart, and save it ONLY for your spouse. If you have ex's numbers in your phone, delete them! Don't let yourself even be tempted to "explore" something or start "talking more" to a new interesting guy. 
It can be really frustrating feeling like a "single married person", but during this time you'll just have to tough it out. It's really hard for your husband too, and he needs you to support him during this time as well. Don't betray each other by letting your hearts wander to other people for comfort. 

One of the guys on my husband's ship had a marriage crumble during the deployment. He had a baby girl with his wife, and from the beginning the wife struggled with the separation. She went back home, and started hanging out with her ex-boyfriend there. As his wife became more distant, the husband frantically emailed and called (phone access is almost impossible on the ship), read marriage books, and tried to do whatever he could to save the relationship. Unfortunately, her heart was becoming hardened, and she wanted to file for divorce and stay with the ex, now current boyfriend. After months of struggle, the husband even flew all the way back to the states during a liberty weekend to try and reconcile with his wife. She wouldn't have it though, and he came back defeated. He was then left with the nasty paperwork of divorce and child-custody issues on the already physically/mentally taxing deployment. I don't know all the details, but it was hard for my husband to watch this person go through this, not being able to do anything to help him. 

It can be easy to point fingers and say "oh how could she do that!", but I wouldn't, I see where she's coming from. When your husband leaves, you feel like you can't depend on him anymore. The loneliness sinks deeper and deeper, and seeking comfort and support from an old flame can be tempting. She might have thought she can start a new, better life with someone who can actually be there for her, someone who can make her happy.

In today's culture where it is acceptable for one's feelings to determine your actions, this decision makes perfect sense. 
Unfortunately, this is a prime example of why this thinking is SO Damaging! True another guy might make you happy in the moment, but happiness is a fleeting feeling, based on the day, location, weather, you name it. Even though it might bring "happiness" for a time, it would destroy her husband, sever her daughter's relationship with her biological father, and break the vow they made before God. I do not know this person and it is not my place to judge them, but my heart just mourns for the brokenness that happened because of the decisions from today's ideology, of letting your feelings dictate your actions. 

At this same time, I was also going through a hard season. About 3 and a half months had passed, and we were barely half way through. I had pent-up frustration that I didn't want to share with my husband. I didn't know what to say to him anymore, and each day's email seemed repetitive and going nowhere. I felt stuck in a dead-end career with NO advancement/education opportunities, all because I was stuck waiting for someone who was never there!! The love was fading, and the bond I used to have with him steadily slipped farther and farther away. 
Emotional and physical distance expanded.
Feelings faded. 

I was seriously tempted to break things off, venture out to a new career, really do something with my life, start a new degree program or something! Make a name for myself and stop living in the shadow of someone who's married to his job!

The primary reason I didn't go down that path, is because I made a vow before God to bind my life to my husband's. God does not take promises lightly, and I feared His punishment for breaking my promise, betraying God and the one to whom I promised. 

Proverbs 9:10 says, "The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and the knowledge of the Holy One is insight." 

"Be not wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord, and turn away from evil. It will be healing to your flesh, and refreshment to your bones." Proverbs 3:7-8

I made a vow to this man before God, and I could not betray him, NO MATTER WHAT I WAS FEELING. 

I had to focus on what I knew to be true, NOT what I was feeling. I know that God created me, He loves me, and He has a plan for me. He will not give me anything I cannot handle, and He is walking with me through everything! 

"For I know the plans I have for you', declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

The feelings of abandonment, resentment and apathy were subconsciously building for months. Feelings are important and need to be considered, but you need to ask WHY they are there and IF they are valid. In this case, those feelings were NOT valid. 
My husband didn't abandon me, he was fighting for our country and using his accomplished skill set for the good of the American Navy. I had NO right to resent him for that. I had to realize that for a time, in order for him to serve our country, he had to put work over me. Feelings do not always stem from truth, and we have to keep them in line before letting our lives fly away with them. 

I also had to intentionally fill my mind with God's Word and His Truth, and stop feeding the toxicity of my own self-centered thinking and negative emotions. People are naturally inward-looking, self-seeking, and I had to combat my natural, impulsive thoughts and put my husband's needs before my own, even when he was so far away. 

I eventually had to share the emotions I was feeling with my husband instead of shutting him out. It hurt him so much to go through this as well and not be able to "fix" it or comfort me. He ordered some marriage books and we started reading through them together. Instead of the circular "how was your day" emails, we started talking about what we were reading in the books, what we were learning, how we can fix problems we had brushed under the rug, and basically grow and move forward. We slowly started becoming more in-sync, and looking toward the future together. I'm the type of person that likes to always be planning and looking to the future, so this helped me a lot instead of focusing on the seeming black hole of deployment weeks. 

I had to depend on God to help me gracefully get through each day, lean on for Him strength, correct my selfish thoughts, and battle my feelings of worthlessness in lacking a solid career and husband by my side. 

5 Love Languages - Out the Window! 
The book The 5 Love Languages, written by Dr. Gary Chapman, is a book that I highly recommend every couple read in order to better love and understand your mate. The 5 Love Languages are quality time, touch, acts of service, words of affirmation, and gifts. Your love language is the way in which you feel most loved, or the way in which you most naturally communicate love. During separations, the first 3 (and the biggest for many people) are pretty much impossible, and after a while each spouse can start to feel very unloved. My love language is quality time, and my husband's is touch. Month after month went by, holiday after holiday, and my "love-tank" was basically running on fumes. There was no way he could spend time with me obviously, and there was no way I could love him in the way that communicated it best for him. I sent care packages, all nicely decorated and filled with presents, each month and it was nice to focus on that and have a "project" to do for him. The packages can take a really long time to get to the ship though, and knowing that it didn't really relieve any of the tension he was going through was disappointing. Some people send laminated kisses, paper cut-outs of a child's hug, or things like that to communicate touch. 

On this note, intimacy is a huge part of marriage, which is painfully missing during the months of deployment. Lacking this is just as hard on you as it is on your spouse, but it does NOT give either of you the right to seek intimacy from someone else. Reading through the book Sheet Music, written by Dr. Kevin Leman, together really helped us to talk through this area more. Discussing each chapter together helped us talk openly about things we hadn't before, and learn more about each other even while apart. We were able to grow together again, laugh, and lay more groundwork for the future. This allowed for healing, improved our understanding of each other, and set a more hopeful path forward.

In terms of communicating love during the separation, you just have to use what you have. Thankfully he had email access most of the time, and I looked forward to his emails every day. When the ship stopped at a port he would try to get internet access for a few minutes and skype with me. I found the skype sessions to be almost too hard at times though. I could see him, hear him, but he was so far away and it broke my heart to not be able to hug him or talk longer. The internet connection would break, and he would be gone again. Sobbing normally ensued, but I got used to the disappointment eventually. Reading the emails and trying to communicate daily helped somewhat in filling my need for quality time. 

Submariners don't have any internet access while underwater, so all the emails their spouses send don't come in until the sub surfaces. This seems so difficult to me, but one wife said it helped her to embrace her own life during the deployment and not grieve or focus on missing him too much while he was gone. 

Reality Check 
Deployments can be hardest on the service member more than anyone else. They are thousands of miles away from any friends or family, through multiple months and holidays, they have to work around the clock standing watch, high-stress (often dangerous) job tasks, they get barely enough sleep, hardly any free time, cramped quarters, lots of pressure from higher ups and job demands, and more.

Even when they finally get a break in port, most of the guys just go and get trashed during liberty, so still he feels pretty alone in a foreign country. I didn’t know how to support him or help him as he tackled all of this! I sometimes felt selfish for being able to get a full night's sleep and be around family, while he was working in this grueling job week after week to earn money for us. All I could do was continue to pray for him, email him, encourage him, and send care packages. 

Communicating in a healthy, loving way, with the goal of better understanding and truly supporting your spouse is one of the key factors that really keeps a marriage going. Marriage is all about sacrifice and putting your spouse before yourself. When both partners do this from a place of love and respect the marriage can really thrive.

Laughter is also very healing in relationships, and can be easy to forget during separations. Being able to laugh with your spouse again, not take yourself or your circumstances too seriously, and just smile and find things to be grateful for even through hard times is very therapeutic! In some of the care packages I would send funny memes or notes, and he’d try to make me smile each day as well.

Another thing is, don’t wish away the days. Embrace the moment you’re in, take advantage of the opportunities in front of you, and live without regrets! Time will march steadily on, and you will see him again.

These are some of the lessons we learned and ways we coped in navigating the first deployment as a married couple, and I hope this can help anyone else who may be dealing with similar issues. It is only by God’s grace that our relationship was restored, that He patiently walked with us and opened our eyes to what we needed to change, and He deserves all the glory!

Just like any other season in life, this one ended and a new one began. Don’t get stuck in frustrations, focus on God and what you know to be true, look for the good in each other, and have hope for the future!

References & Photo Credit: 
http://www.alternet.org/story/122198/broken_military_marriages%3A_another_casualty_of_war 
http://www.jocelyngreen.com/about/faith-deployed/faith-deployed-and-faith-deployed-again/
https://www.etsy.com/listing/168764367/deployment-prayer-wooden-vinyl-subway

How to PCS to Hawaii

PCSing (Permanent Change of Station) - uprooting your family and everything you have become familiar with to an entirely new workplace is no small feat. There are lots of logistics involved with your command to follow, such as moving/travel logistics, and plenty of points at which excess money could potentially leak out. While the potential trials are obvious, it can also be a chance to explore somewhere new and start a totally new chapter in life with your spouse! 

During OCS my husband put the following on his preference list for where he'd like to be stationed: Virginia, California, Florida, Washington. After getting re-designated to a different community (sub to SWO(N) ), and waiting around for new orders in student pool, he finally got his orders! 
The orders are in all caps, long-winded, confusing, but basically said: San Diego for school, then assigned to a ship in Hawaii !!!!!


We were shocked, but elated and excited! Obviously they don't really take your preference list into account, and there was even another guy waiting for orders who put Hawaii has his first choice, and he ended up getting something not on his list too. After receiving the orders, we packed up the car and drove all the way across the country, from Rhode Island to San Diego. 

PCS Moving Process: 

1. Orders
2. Service member reserves hotel and rental car for about 3 weeks. Make sure to do this with plenty of time in advance to ensure getting a room in a hotel on base! 
3. Navy books the plane flights (and vehicle shipment if necessary) for the service member and dependents (really close to the actual leave time)
4. Service member arrives in new duty station and reports to command.
5. Service member and/or dependents goes to the Housing Office as soon as possible to get TLA (Travel & Lodging Assistance) set up and to look at housing options.
6. Depending on the command and situation, the service member may be able to take up to 10 days off for house hunting leave.
7. Find a house on or off base, move in (usually just the spouse does it as the service member is always working!), and settle into your new home for the next couple years!

When you are given orders for Hawaii, you should be really excited because it is one of the best states to get shipped to! Every single military installation has a base on Oahu, including Navy (obviously, Pearl Harbor), Air Force (Hickam AFB), Marine Corps (MCBH), Army (Schofield Brks. plus 5 more), and the Coast Guard, so there is a wide military presence. 

Housing: 

One of the first things you'll want to do is figure out housing and whether to live in a military housing community or off base. There are pros and cons to each, and it really comes down to what becomes available, the prices, and the commute time. If possible, ask around beforehand from people already in the new station to get tips and insight on where they are living and the best prices. You can start looking online at houses/apartments for rent at AHRN.com (for military folks), Trulia.com, Zillow.com, etc. to get a feel for what is available, the different areas and the prices. 

In terms of military housing, you cannot book an appointment with the Housing Office until you physically are on the island and show up at their office - Extremely frustrating I know. Unfortunately that is only the beginning of the immense frustration in working with them. (!!) We had to wait forever just to talk with an employee, and they were so unprofessional and slow it was ridiculous!! ... government work, ugh.

We originally wanted to live in Kailua or Kaneohe (towards the West of Oahu - beautiful beach town area), and we watched the rental sites like a hawk to see what became available. It turns out that most of the options that fit in the BAH (Basic Allowance for Housing) were pretty small or in crummy neighborhoods, and had added expenses for utilities and such. In addition, the only good rentals would get taken within hours of being posted, and most of them were edging out of our budget anyway. After seriously looking at the costs, we decided to sign up for base housing. The house we wanted was scheduled to become available 58 days after we arrived. That turned out to be a good thing because they Navy allots up to 60 days of TLA while waiting for base housing, so we were able to max the TLA allotment while still getting base housing so it was a win-win. We would lose the chance to save some of the BAH by living on base, but we would not run the risk of spending more on utilities, the commute would be much shorter, and they would cover basic maintenance and upkeep. 

Base housing is allowed ONLY for married service members. Single sailors need to find something off base, and it's best to try and find a roommate to cut costs. I know this kind of stinks as they have to deal with the longer commute and other hassles, but during deployment they can leave the apartment and save their entire BAH, saving thousands each month! 

Housing options are assigned based on the married service member's command, rank, and number of dependents. In Hawaii the options ranged from 2-bedroom houses to about 5-bedroom houses. When you get to the housing office, you're put on a waiting list based on when your orders were given. Since Kenny got orders in September, and had the 6-month stay for school in San Diego, we had a 9-month wait time since the orders were given technically, so we were bumped to the top of the list for most everything! That gave us an advantage over other people waiting for housing, but we still had to wait for the housing type we wanted to actually become available (aka for people to move out, and for it to be cleaned out.)

The Housing Office has a binder with a few pictures and floor plans of the options available in various neighborhoods. You can't actually go inside and see the housing style you want until a few days before the move-in date. This is obviously a little unsettling, but you can still drive by or get to know people from your command and see what their house looks like if they invite you. A few days before your move-in date you are allowed to go with a Housing Office Rep to see the property, and if you like it and agree to it, you'll sign the lease. 

Warning: The housing office had a few housing communities that were offered below BAH, at "market-rate". They

tried to sell it to us as a "good deal" where we could save money each month, and gave one of these as their first offer. That sounded awesome initially, until we saw where they were located. They were all near the southwest of Oahu, meaning there would be a huge commute stuck in the infamous H1 traffic each day. Losing that precious time with your service member while he's stuck in traffic each day was just not worth it to us. Choosing the "market-rate" housing can be a good option though if your spouse is deployed and no one has to commute though! I met a few spouses who moved there once deployment started just so they could get the market-rate for those months while their sailor was gone and save a portion of BAH. 

We ended up choosing the second option that was offered to us, an older home near Kenny's base. We had to wait about 2 more months to actually move in though. At this point we had been in a hotel in Waikiki for about 1 month, so agreeing to wait in the hotel for 2 more months was not easy, but worth it! TLA would cover the hotel costs, basically like BAH but for travel expenses, and TLA is only allowed for 3 months, so we just barely made the cut-off time. 

When the move-in date finally came, Kenny was working still (again, what else is new) and was on an under-way for the whole week. I moved in everything by myself. Yes, I checked out of the hotel, drove to the housing office early before traffic, waited to get the keys, signed for the keys with the Power of Attorney form (don't forget that!), unlocked our new home for the first time, and waited for the movers to come. When the movers finally came I rushed to help them get everything situated as quickly as possible, then scrambled to get internet. Our router ended up not working so I had to buy a second router from the NEX (Navy Exchange - the Navy's tax-free department store for service members and dependents) and after more trial and error finally got the internet to work. That week had quite a few late nights of getting things out of boxes and trying to clean and organize, while still working remotely, but I finally got it done. This house is MUCH bigger than our previous [tiny] apartments, so our furniture looked minuscule in the space. After a few weeks of searching for the best prices, we decided to buy a big comfy couch from the NEX furniture store, and we got a tall dining set for a great deal on craigslist. With spending as little as possible, our home came together beautifully, and we love how it turned out.  

A few things to know before you arrive: 

• Hawaii is SOOOO expensive!! Everything here costs about 2-3 times more than it would on the mainland, so just prepare for that and try not to pass out when you see peanut butter might cost $14. Just shop at the commissary and don't get stuck having to shop other places. Also go to farmer's markets and try to get meals/food there during the time you don't have a home/kitchen. If you can use Amazon prime to get free shipping on quality things that are cheaper to order, like raw cacao powder, protein powder, organic coconut oil, etc. Also look on Craigslist on try to get furniture and other necessities used. Don't be tempted to decorate or fill up your home with expensive furniture. 

• Traffic - is Really bad! The H1 runs all the way from the southern East of the island to the West, from Honolulu to all the towns starting with "W". As one person advised Kenny, don't move to a "W" town. Every morning the traffic going into Honolulu is ridiculously slow, and every afternoon the traffic leaving Honolulu and the military installations along the way are mind-numbingly slow. There are also several navy/airforce base gates that go directly to the H1, so all the people leaving from the bases clog it up even more. As a general rule of thumb, try not to travel on the H1 from 6:30-8:30am or from 2:30-6:30pm. The traffic gets that bad, and basically turns into a parking lot inching along. The traffic situation is a big point to consider in where to move, and where to work. Wasting hours of your life every day in that is not ideal. The H3 running through the mountains down from the Kailua to the South normally doesn't have nearly as much traffic. Living up there is a much better option, and makes the commute from Pearl Harbor about 30-40 minutes, but with actually driving the whole time. 

• International Auto Logistics (IAL) is probably going to mess up your car shipment. (sad, but true!) We dropped off our car in San Diego on June 17 (hello rental car!), and it was supposed to arrive in Honolulu on July 12. The tracking number which you could see updated on the website. It still said July 12 all the way up to date, but after I called to confirm the pick-up time the person on the phone said "oh, the website doesn't work anymore actually" and they had no idea where my car was or when it would arrive. I had to extend the rental car for weeks more while IAL said "your car isn't in the system now actually - it might be in LA... " - what!!! It finally arrived on August 4, about 2 months later! The pick-up area was packed so be prepared to for an epic DMV-style wait. When you are finally reunited with your car, it is truly a beautiful thing. 
  

• RIMPAC - aka "Rim of the Pacific Exercises" is the world's largest international naval warfare exercise which occurs in Hawaii every other summer. If you're PCSing to Oahu in the summer there's a good chance you'll run into RIMPAC or that your spouse will be deployed during July for it. There will be ships and navies from countries all across the Pacific Rim harbored in Pearl Harbor, making for an even more crowded base and city! Make sure to book your hotel WAY in advance, since almost every hotel will be booked with tourists and visiting sailors. I didn't realize this and tried booking a hotel about 2 months in advance, and every hotel in Oahu practically was booked! Book the hotel room as soon as you get the orders, just in case. Speaking of hotels ...

• Temporary Lodging Assistance (TLA): TLA is normally allowed for 10 days, but can be extended for up to 60 days under special circumstances. Make sure your service member talks to the Housing Office about this if you think you qualify, and sort it out with them. We were given the 60 days because the house they offered us was not available until that time. The 60 day extension is quite uncommon actually, and even if you do qualify the service member has to submit TLA paperwork to the finance person in his command every 10 days. Only certain commercial hotels will accept government TLA rates for service members. Search online and call in advance to make sure the hotel you're looking at will accept TLA rates.